Today I want to talk to you about a subject that I feel is very important and powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.
This subject is none other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful storytelling and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered more in depth in Part II) I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of storytelling.
Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.
Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.
Even if the women does not believe the story, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.
I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in “Role Playing” and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in “Role Play Conversations” raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
One of the main goals of storytelling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
If you are familiar with “The Canterbury Tales” by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don’t worry; your stories don’t have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer’s do)
There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
- Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversationsThis is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction. Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.
People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
- Storytelling is a great way to display dominanceWhen you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next. What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like “Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you).”
- Storytelling develops stronger social skillsThis is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
- You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.
If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it’s a silly story write it down. You can’t be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can’t think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don’t even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.