Many people are so busy focusing on finding someone to be in a relationship with that they miss the fact that they’re not actually ready to be involved with anyone right then. It may seem that anyone would realize that they don’t really want to be involved with someone, but that’s not always true. There may, instead, be a craving of sorts to have someone in your life and someone that you can share things with. That’s not, however, the same thing as being ready to be in a relationship.
One sign that you’re not ready for a relationship is in the guys that you keep being drawn to. Time after time, the guy you’re attracted to is in no way the one that you need to be with. Even though you’re warned that he’s a huge player or a loser, it doesn’t stop you from latching onto him. It also doesn’t take very long to realize that you’ve made a big mistake.
If you must have a man in your life in order to feel happy, that’s another sign that you’re not ready to be involved in a relationship. When you’re invited to a social event, unless you have a date to escort you, it’s likely that you’ll make up an excuse to not attend. This is never a good reason to jump into a relationship. You need to learn how to be happy with yourself first.
Some women feel they’re saviors and will look for a guy that can be their project. What this translates to is that they need drama in their lives so they find someone that’s so dysfunctional that it will keep them quite occupied in saving him. Being a therapist isn’t the same thing as being a girlfriend.
On the flip side of that, you want someone to save you. If you’re constantly talking about what a mess your life is in, you need to fix all of that before you’re ready for a real relationship. What you’ll most likely do is attract a man with all of your same issues so that neither of you can get better.
You feel you need a man to “complete” you. While this sounds great in a movie or in a book, reality is a bit different. There should be no completing. In fact, you might consider looking for a guy that will complement you. That makes you look a lot less needy.
If you’re spending more time looking for love than enjoying the interests you have, you’re not ready to be in a relationship. Granted, you do need to be out there in social situations if you ever plan to meet the right guy, but don’t plan all of your outings around The Hunt. It’s not normal.
Deal with any leftover emotional baggage that you may have before jumping into a new relationship. That’s also known as the rebound effect and is rarely successful. Another man isn’t necessarily going to take your mind off of your ex.
Last, but not least, if you feel you can’t be yourself around a new man, then keep looking. There’s no need to turn yourself inside out to make sure you’re exactly what he wants. Be more concerned about whether or not he’s what you want, instead.