first-date-roseBefore you can decide which woman you want to date, you need to decide what you are looking for and expecting to get from the date.

When you begin dating, try to know what you want from your dating partner. All of us date for different reasons. Sometimes these reasons are unknown to our conscious mind. You need to seriously ask yourself what you want from your dating partner.

You need to understand what makes you tick so that you will ask the right woman out on a real date.

Maybe:

  • You are an honest guy
  • You hold truthfulness in high esteem
  • You are a hard worker
  • You really despise laziness

Do some serious thinking about yourself because the character traits that are important to you today are always going to be important to you.

Now, taking your in-depth understanding of yourself into consideration, you need to think about exactly what you expect to get from the dating process.

If you only want to date because everybody else that you know is dating and you are feeling really left out and alone, that isn’t a good reason. You know yourself better than that. You have never done anything just because others were doing it. There’s no point in starting to date just because others are dating.

If you only want to date for the purpose of satisfying your own biological urges and one-night-stands are going to be your thing, then at least practice safe sex. There’s no need for you to die young. You won’t like yourself much if you do date for that reason, however. You have always been a person who believed in honest relationships. You still do.

first-date-woman-roseDating for the purpose of finding a person who will share your joys and sorrows like a good friend is a pretty good reason to join the dating scene. Nobody wants to face life alone. But you do need to be honest with your dating partner that friendship is your main objective. You don’t want to mislead a woman into thinking you are looking for a permanent commitment if you aren’t.

If you are dating so that you will have someone available to just adore you, faults and all like mom does, get a dog and save the poor woman a broken heart.

Having a beautiful woman on your arm just to impress your friends isn’t a good reason for dating. You can find other ways to impress your friends that won’t cause anybody to be hurt. Buy a sports car.

Remember that everybody wants something every time. The woman you date wants something… and you want something, as well. Dating women who actually expect and want the same things out of a relationship that you want and expect will not only narrow your search it will also make your dating experiences much more enjoyable and rewarding.

Knowing exactly what you want brightens the possibility of getting it. Oh, and to dispel the “Ms. Perfect” myth while we’re at it:

If you seem to be waiting for Ms. Absolutely Perfect to wander into your line of sight – you keep waiting and waiting for the woman you have been dreaming about – then in reality, you are getting nowhere.

It must be really tough. Do you think you are just a victim of bad luck and that’s the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared in your life yet? Or have you decided that maybe Ms. Perfect only exists on movie screens and not out here in the real world?

BINGO! DING! DING! DING!

You’ve got it! She DOESN’T exist anywhere except in your imagination and on movie screens.

first-date-expectationsThe truth of the matter is that the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared has nothing to do with your luck, good or bad, but everything to do with you and the fact that you are busy looking for a person that doesn’t exist! You can’t date with your eyes closed and some impossible dream in your head. You’ll get so caught up in this whole exercise of dating that you forget to look for the qualities you seek! You haven’t met the person of your dreams because you aren’t looking for the things that will make them close enough to perfect for you.

You are so confident that every woman you have met could not give you what you wanted. But what was it that you wanted in the first place? Once you are sure of what you want, you will know exactly what to look for in your woman. What are the qualities that you feel are necessary in a person? What are the attributes you are willing to make a compromise on? Have you thought about all these?

Remember, that nobody on this earth is perfect. Everybody has faults – some faults bigger than others. Some are faults you can overlook and some are faults that you couldn’t overlook on your best day and if she was the most beautiful, most sexy woman on the planet.

Yes, I know you will want your date to like you and to enjoy being with you. What is equally important, however, is that you like her and enjoy being with her. When you first begin any relationship it is important to have an exit route planned in advance. When the chemistry isn’t there, there isn’t much point in wasting your time and energy (not to mention your money) on a relationship that isn’t going to happen anyway. The sooner you discover irreconcilable differences, the better. The less you have invested in the relationship, the easier it is to end it (maybe even before it begins).

dating-dinnerWhen you meet a woman, however hard you try to impress others, you cannot control their thought processes. Instead, it’s far better to concentrate on your needs and desires, and how much of what you need would be fulfilled if you dated this woman. Do you like what you see? Does her personality appeal to you? What are the topics she likes discussing, what are her general likes and dislikes?

Does her intellect match yours? It’s critical for you as you are the one who is seeking to meet Ms. Right… not Ms. Perfect.