A lot of people tend to take break up seriously. They allow break up to rule their life. This affects their personal and professional relationship in a negative manner. Health of the individual is also affected badly. This is because he/she is unable to cope up with all the stress and mental tension that surrounds him/her as soon as his/her partner declares a breakup or divorce. However, it is imperative to resist from any temptation that will make you go insane about your break up. If there was life before the broken relationship, there can be life after it too. All you require doing is to make some efforts towards getting out of the deep depression you went in.
It is natural to go through a rough phase after splitting up with your partner. The emotional ups and downs can be very testing for you. However, it is important to take control of your life as soon as you can. In fact, this should be done way before you get suicidal thoughts due to the break up.
There are several things that you can do in this regard. For instance, you can consider talking to your ex about the break up. Know whether it is necessary for both of you. The best thing to do is to try knowing whether or not the break up is unavoidable. Once you know that there is nothing you and your ex can do about saving the relationship, it is finally time to mourn and get over it as soon as possible.
Talk to your friends and family to keep you busy and away from the thoughts and memories of the relationship. Try to sit alone for some part of the day and you will feel relaxed. You will definitely feel relaxed. Reading a lot of books will also help. This will keep you occupied and miles away from the thought of your ex.
Taking professional help is one of the wisest decisions you will be taking after a break up. A lot of people try to sit home feeling sorry for what has happened to them. However, this may affect your mental health negatively. You may get out of the house and meet friends. Spending time with family is also crucial in this regard. Self improvement will also work wonders. You can try indulging in something that enhances your personality and also offers you mental satisfaction.
Make friends: one of the best ways to overcome your break-up
During the divorce period people find it really difficult to control their emotions and their feelings. People become increasingly frustrated and fell that they will lose their temper and control easily at any given moment. But you should know that there many people just like them who are going through the same grind and who feel the same way. One may want to opt for therapy to better their control over the ever increasing feelings of anger and annoyance. The therapy may also teach you how to become friends with your mate just for the welfare of your children. You may also want to involve in some sweet talk so that you don’t end up losing more funds then necessary. People prefer to get all these in the past as much as possible and not to waste more time and money than necessary.
To still remain friends’ people should follow some civilized mannerisms and behave in a nice way no matter what their differences have been. If you are in a relationship already then just keep the affair in a low profile until the divorce ends because the involvement of a third person will make the other defensive. One should willingly or unwillingly get actively involved in family therapy for the sake of their kids so that they don’t feel left out. The therapy really helps you to cool off as you find some answers. Divorce always gets the worst out of a person. A person should select day and decide with their partners so as to what goes with whom. It will be better than involving the attorneys it that is when it gets nasty. By doing this people can save hurt and not forget time. During the course of the divorce one should always keep their tone low
And mild, not that one should be tamed in fact to show your partner that you are as calm as one can be. One should take care that they do not raise their voice. This may lead to having to end up being in control. But then it is worth it so that the divorce goes about in a civilized manner.
But you should make your partner realize that this not an act of plea or you wanting to get back in. But it is just that you want to spare any of the difficulties for your partner because you still care about them. If both the partners are nice to each other then the divorce will pass through smoothly without leaving any scars of disgust.
Importance of Family after Divorce
Divorce isn’t the last thing in the world. If you have a child then you have to start afresh at least for his/her bright prospect. You can’t let the child see your melancholy so that one day he/she stops believing in the constitution of marriage. During these callous times only the support of your family can help you. A family has a very major role to play in your life especially when you just got divorced as it helps you to gain confidence that you are not alone and the family members won’t allow you to go into depression stage.
The greatest thing to do after getting a divorce is to begin to a new life right from scratch. This can be done in the best way by taking sound tips from your family members. Experience is one thing that can do wonders for person. Those grey hairs do matter as they have seen the world and they know how it works. Taking advice from elders especially mom or dad can be helpful as they can sound frank and realistic at the same time.
Being in company of family can be very beneficial as the level of thinking of your mom and dad is way ahead of yours. Their vision of you as a family man is far more developed and bright at such situations. You may lose courage after the divorce but your family won’t let any stone unturned in the process of bringing you back to normality.
One of the smartest ways to live a life following a divorce is to make your purpose and ideas very plain in front of your family so that there are no clashes later on. It may sound dreamlike but you will get a support for your ideas from the expected as well the most unexpected family member. To sum up you can always rely on your family members for emotional and mental support during these harsh times. The family is a thing you can rely on for going beyond the limits for your betterment, but at such times even you should be approachable and show some improvement in mental strength.
Nobody said that this life is going to be a joyful ride. There will be ups and downs relentlessly in your life. You should be all set to face them. When you are down and you see no gleam of light you can always rely on your family to help you out through the rough phase. If you are a person who just got divorced life can sure be as hard as hell. They can act as your back bone as you recover from this mental trauma.
Importance of friends after divorce
Just when you get divorced you want to remove all the errors from your life and reconstruct it. You badly want this life of yours to work better than the previous one. Life doesn’t give assurance that it will be melodious all the times, so for harsh times you better find a support which you will need. Generally this support comes from your family and friends as they understand you the most and can speak open-heartedly in front of you. The friends that understand your misery after the divorce and accept you in such harsh times are really worth preciously maintaining for. You should always be in company with your best allies as they know everything about you and can be the best judge.
There also will be a fall out between you and some of your friends regarding the divorce as they don’t think it was the right option for you. There will also be many who will stop being friends with you as they think you are no longer valuable to them. The only advice against them is to disregard them and consider as they didn’t ever existed. These types of friends end on the side of the wealthier spouse. You should always be in contact with those friends on whom you can incline on for support and advice. With time you will get the awareness on who are your real friends as the tables turn quickly in this world.
The most important thing is sharing with your friends everything that you are feeling after the divorce. This should be done because there will be some topic concealed that your friends can relate to help you recover it. Sharing your experiences will only help your friends to find the best possible way for you to get out of loneliness and feel better.
There are also some couples who maintain friendship with both theirs as well as their spouse’s friends. This is a high sign of maturity but you should be very careful at this point as some of them can get smart and leak out your experiences after the divorce which will only make you feel weaker. Hence you must share all this only with the friends you trust the most and with guys that have stuck by you through thick and thin. There will also be certain guys that will only make matters worse for you and increase anxiety between you and your ex-spouse. You must handle such situations very smartly and should also use your fists if necessary as these guys deserve it.
How to express feeling of divorce in front of loved ones?
Informing your spouse regarding the divorce is a daunting task and more difficult is to bring this in the notice of the family and friends. But you need to select the proper time for declaring the news of divorce. You should not declare such news on the time like dinner party and similar events. You need to take some close people out for dinner and then talk to them regarding the divorce. You should ask them whether your decision regarding the divorce is correct or not. It is sure that your family will understand you and if you find any person will not listen then you need to communicate this to them through grapevine. You need to maintain your calm while speaking to them because this news can be shocking if they do not know about the ongoing problems in your marriage life.
Means of communication like phone, answering machine and letters must be avoided to communicate such news. If at a particular point you think you cannot talk about the divorce to someone then you must avoid talking to them and must wait for appropriate time to gain confidence and inform them. Once this news spread out to family members you are sure to get questions fired on you. But not to get frightened, you have complete right to choose the question and decide whether you like to answer it or want to reject it. There is no need of providing justification to anyone regarding your divorce decision because it is your feelings. You will also feel to stay away from people for some time because there are numerous people who will feel sorry for your divorce or comment on your situation. At such times it is better to pull yourself away from such events.
Once the people start understanding your situation you will feel better and gain more strength to face the public. Children are the most sensitive part of the divorce process because they are the ones to be highly impacted by it. Husband and wife must be available at the same time and must tell the children about their decision to separate. It must also be noted that children must understand you are always there with them at any point in life. Divorce is hard to digest but you must be open to friends and family because they love you and are always there to support you.
Divorce: Don’t get upset, take out positive things
Divorce is that part of life which has huge impact on the mind of human beings. It leads to sudden collapse of your world. You need to be prepared to face situations regarding money, personal materials and children. There is certainly life after marriage and it is better to end something in which you are not comfortable rather than staying with it and getting frustrated throughout the life. After divorce you should not wait for the mate to come back again. It is not worth continuing the relationship which is affecting you and giving you pain.
You must switch to something that can provide happiness and for that you ought to learn when grieving will be acceptable. Initially you will be confused, shocked and angry but you need to lie down calmly and think. You must sit down and analyze your life and must also think about the children. Once you are divorced you should not develop negative attitude because you are single. People can be single at many times and at any age of life. You can set out in search for new love which can understand you. There are no age barriers for the same. You must forget the past as soon as possible and must concentrate on present and future to make it bright and happy. After divorce never think of regretting the memories of the previous marriage because this has direct impact on the children.
You should behave like smart and matured person. Yelling, getting angry, shouting must be avoided in front of the children as it can give negative feeling regarding your behavior. Your children must take you as their role model. As a parent you are the true guardian of your children and they are constantly watching you, so you should not get upset. Some amount of time is required to return to normal life but after that you can start new life by buying your new home and car. From here you will have complete control over your life. This will make you happier than you were before because you can lead your life in the way you wish to. There is no one to restrict you from doing anything. You can start decorating your house, you can also give new look to yourself and can do anything that makes you happy. You get to learn new lessons from divorce and your abilities to tackle difficult situation also increases.
Divorce: Learn a lot from it
People get to learn a lot form the divorce. Sometimes divorce reaches to a position where it gives rise to extremely bitter condition. It does not only cause loss of the private materials; the loss is much more than that. Many times impact of divorce is so huge that the person loses himself in the process. Tons of changes in the nature of person occur as he passes through the procedure of divorce. You may also go on the wrong track and develop negative attitude but over a period of time you will return back to the normal. People who underwent the process of divorce fear of getting into new kind of relationship because they fear occurrence of same happenings from the new relationship. But this is wrong approach and you should always remain positive because your friends and family loves you and want to see happiness on your face.
Positive point of divorce is it will make you strong and you will find that you are able to handle several difficult situations easily which it would be difficult to think of. It will help you to understand the difference between actions and words of people. Initially your mate would have promised to behave in civilized way but later they will take entire from you. This will train you on not to believe others easily. After this you can easily predict as which person is true to his heart and which one is behaving to be nice to you. This lesson will help you when you pass through the other relationships.
If you went through the process of divorce you will start appreciating your friends because this is the time when you will come to know as which one is the true friend. These friends will always be there to support you and provide you strength to fight the upcoming situations. With the divorce you will gain the ability to distinguish between the selfish person and honest person. At the time of divorce you need to bring out your anger by yelling and shouting. This will help you to heal your anger and prevent further frustration. A good lesson that can be learnt from divorce is you will be able to control your life. You feel better because you will not have to do what the others say to you. You can lead your life in a way which pleases you. You get to learn a lot which you never have expected otherwise and can lead a happy life.
Dating: Find a special friend and move on in life
It is very difficult for a person to start a new life after the divorce. Initially person is not able to trust someone and find one which will which act as special. With dating, you will face good as well as bad times. If you are away from dating for a long time then starting it again will take some time. You will feel little awkward to do so. When you start dating again you will come across new people. As times passes dating becomes harder and harder and the reason behind this is as we grow older we tend to develop the tendency to defense ourselves rather than going for offense. Before going for a date you need to sit and think carefully as what do you need and the reason behind that need.
You must set up your priorities and decide whether you want to do dating just to meet new people, you want to make friends or want to go for some relationship. You must make your own decision and should not allow any person to interfere in your way of thinking. Man can seek love in any age of life may in the 60’s. If you are clear on your thoughts then you will never mislead any other person and this is called as smart dating. For smart dating it is necessary that the goals of you and your date must match.
You ought to be opening minded while dating and should not let your heart fall on to the others easily. You need to be open and accept everything may be good or bad. Your date might call you or may not but you must be flexible and accept it without any problem because there is always another date waiting for you. Your first date is surely going to be worst so you must be prepared for it. If you find someone then you must meet the person with open mind. You can take help from your family to provide some kind of date or you can carry out blind dating. While performing you need to make sure that the blind dating is carried out in the public place so that there is surety that your meeting is going to be safe. In the initial period of dating you should not expose your name and location to the other person until you finish with few days. Once you select the right person you will find your life changing and then you will be happy ever.
Life after break up: Is there a life?
A break up can break you in many ways. You may feel ruined physically and mentally. A lot of people find it really difficult to survive after splitting up with their partners. Parting ways with partner can also arouse suicidal thoughts in some people. However, it would be wrong to feel that there is no life after divorce or break up. Breaking up may be a signal for a better relationship and arrival of someone who is right for you in all aspects.
Yes! There is life after break up. It is natural to feel devastated due to a broken relationship. However, this does not mean that there is nothing left for you to start your life again. There is hope. So do not give up. Surviving a break up may seem to be a tough task for you. It is tough but not impossible. Remember that you had a life and a happy one before your ex entered in to your life.
Once you know that that your relationship is over and there are no chances to rebuild it, stop mourning and start living. Crying, mourning and feeling depressed will be normal. However, make sure that you do not overdo it. There are several things that can make you feel better again.
Friends can help you a lot. Taking assistance from family is also a wise decision. Take their support if they are offering it. Talking to them and let your heart out can be really helpful to come out of depression. There are several ways in which you can take help. For instance, taking professional help can let you rebuild your life again after a painful break up.
Remember that after all the mourning, crying and sleepless nights, it is finally time to get over with the relationship and the memories associated with it. You need to devote this time to a lot of other things that make you feel better. For instance, it is finally time to hang-out with your best friends, watch movies that you like; wear what you want to and eating what you want to.
Life after a break up exists but only if you want to. You need to work for it hard and with 100 per cent devotion. There are many people who have survived broken relationships. You can do the same. All you require doing is to take some steps towards surviving a break up.
Tips to move on sexually after divorce
Divorce can be hurting. Nothing can be uglier than permanent separation from partner. This can also mean separating form a lot of things including emotional security, financial assistance, love, care, affection and enthusiasm in life. According to some researches and studies, it has been proved that most women want to stay away from dating and relationships after a divorce. This is because they fear from trusting someone again.
However, abstaining from relationships is not a solution. Most apprehensions such as marriage and dating after divorce affecting children tend to make people stay away from a new alliance. This is just not true. It’s absolutely okay to move on. You would be surprised to know that a lot of people expect their ex’s to have a new life of their own. They actually want their ex to have sex and develop significant relationships.
The best way to stay away from complications is to strictly avoid developing sexual relationships with your ex. Bear in mind that one who can hurt you a lot and leave you can hurt you more once you get back to him/her. This will not help you or your kids in any way. It is simple. Getting back to your ex will create a lot of confusion among people. They may think that you want to get back with him/her. This is not all. The problem will worsen once your children start thinking and nurturing hope that you two will get together one day soon. This can be really distressing for your children.
When you want to resume sex after a divorce, you need to know the exact reason behind it. There can be many reasons behind this. You may want to have someone in your life to eliminate loneliness or may develop a feeling of care for someone. You need to know whether you want a permanent alliance with the new partner. Trusting someone completely too soon will not be good for you. Take care before you take a step ahead with a new sexual relationship after divorce.
Prior to getting involved in sexual intercourse after divorce, you need to make sure that the other person is someone who is safe to be with. Take special protection from STDs and other serious disease. If you do not want to get pregnant, take adequate precautions. You must not let divorce affect your personal life. Learn to move on.
How to handle your children after divorce
Divorce can be a tough decision for many. However, there are a lot of things that need to be taken in to consideration. When thinking of a divorce, it is imperative to think about the child involved. Of course you would want to make sure that the discord between you and your ex does not affect your child. The child deserves maximum attention from parents. This is the only way to make them feel special and loved. Remember that the discord or divorce is not your child’s fault.
You need to take proper measures to keep your children away from the harsh effects of divorce or differences between you and your ex. The child should be kept safe from potential problems related to divorce. Here are some ways in which you can help your child stay away from the effects of divorce:
The line of communication is very important. A child can get affected by the proceedings of divorce. You need to reassure the child that things will get alright in some time. You make your child understand that things are happening for their good. Make sure that your child understands that nothing is going to change will want to keep the lines of communication open with your children during a divorce. You want to make them aware that their relationship with you and your ex will not be affected.
It would be wise to request counseling for your children. Taking them to a professional will definitely help. This will facilitate them cope up with the problems they are going through due to divorce proceedings. There are chances for your children to feel rejected, guilty, depressed etc. Talking to a professional will make them feel better.
Read their minds:
You need to know about any questions they have in mind regarding the divorce. They may develop certain insecurities in mind which you need to solve.
Keep things simple:
It is natural for you to fight for your child’s custody. However, fighting ugly can cause problems for your child. He may develop negative feelings and insecurity which will further hamper his future. His personal life and studies will also be affected. The child needs attention and love from both parents. You and your ex may have differences with each other but the child loves you both. So why let the children suffer. You need to make things simple for your child.
First of all let me clear that eating lots of chocolates and drinking lots of beer won’t help you solve your problem, it would simply add to the problem it. Life after ending a relationship can be bright as well as murk. The only difference is how you see it. It will be bright as you wanted to get out of the relationship and now you have done it, so it’s a new start for you. It will be murk if you keep on thinking whether you did the right thing or not. Many people waver to end their relationship worrying about the world. Well, it should not be done at all as if you don’t like to be a part of the relationship then you are just wasting another person’s life as well. If you are ready to put in efforts to make it work than it’s the best thing in the world.
If you are ending your relationship it should be done in total consent with your partner and you have to be as mature as possible in doing so. Whatever may be the reason for you splitting up but you have to remember that once you shared the feeling that brought you together. Life surely will be tough after ending a relationship as you are put in front of the world alone at once. For this purpose you must have support of at least your family or friends.
Family members play a huge role in mitigating you from you mental stress and trauma. You must take directions from your mom and dad as they will be the best commentators on your issue. You can speak everything about how are you feeling with your family members. Your family members can be very frank to you which is good signal of help. The thinking of your mom and dad must be taken into consideration as they will only speak for your best.
Friends like family members lend support that can ease the pressure off you. Sharing your experiences with friends is easier and will also help you to move in a new direction in life. You must also be aware of some of your common friends that can leak out your information hence you must only share your personal trauma and experience with your best friends or with friends you trust the most.
You can end up just crying all day or partying all day on ending your relationship, you should be mature enough to take this thing at your chin and move forward so that you can never repeat such mistakes again.